All in all I manage to forget temporarily the pain that I’m in, while guests mingle and chat happily over the wonderful meal Larry and I had prepared together. There wasn’t a full-tummy-friend, guest, or acquaintance leaving my home, that didn’t say, in one form or another, “Thank you. This has been the greatest Thanksgiving of my life. I actually feel renewed instead of bitter about some ugly remark made by someone, which usually is the case at our family Thanksgivings.”

I was delighted watching pure strangers before today, hugging each other and making plans to get together again. Of course they all invited Larry and me to join them, as layer upon layer of invitations came our way.

Back in Michigan, my family seems to just move forward as well. I hear this in the occasional phone calls from my girls as they purposely say anything they can think of that will rip my heart apart. They know my soul; which makes me wish they didn’t: destroying everything I ever believed about the importance of creating wonderful relationships. Yet, I know I raised them to be beautiful human beings; we’ve had thirty years of joy together, and it’s obvious now they’re choosing to be ugly on purpose, along with their father. They certainly don’t miss me one bit. I just don’t understand.

At this point, Rick steps up on his strange behavior, asking to come visit me for a weekend. He says he wants to reunite by working out our issues. Of course, I’m pleased with his request – but I’m having problems believing him. Larry’s wise words of warning settle in the back of my mind.

Rick wants to have a picnic in the woods, after snow shoeing up the mountain behind the cabin with my six-month old, fifty-pound, Airedale puppy, Aloysius. Of course I secretly check every drawer in the cabin; every backpack and behind seats in Rick’s truck, for guns, before I agree to go on this winter escapade. I reasonably decide he couldn’t possibly get on a plane with such a weapon. So, I’m convinced Rick won’t be shooting me in the head today…besides it would be an obvious murder, from which he couldn’t escape prosecution.